About a year ago, I decided to try my hand at writing my very first novel. How exciting that felt! What I am learning is that I don’t really know what I am doing, but I am having fun figuring it out. Writing always inspires more writing. I like that, and I like the writer in me.

Have you read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott? I have. This author is so talented, witty, and honest. She emphasizes writing for the right reasons, that if you’re doing it hoping to get published, become famous, and pay off all your debt, you will most likely find yourself disappointed. She says, sure, one can achieve much, but even if one writes and writes and writes some more, chances are most won’t ever get published. It’s important to know that going in.

I even asked a writing AI what the odds were of having one of my submissions selected. It told me that while it’s possible, the odds aren’t good that it will come soon, that it takes commitment, many submissions, lots of rejection, and maybe, just maybe, someone will take a chance on you. Speaking of AI, I believe that while AI has its place, outsourcing creativity only leads to a lack of creativity on one’s own. I know that’s a side note, but it feels worth saying. Anyway, with AI helping so many new writers create and submit, the competition is even bigger, making it harder for fresh voices to break through. Most published pieces still come from writers who are already published, so to say it is a challenge to get our ideas in the door is a bold understatement.

Even knowing all this, ever since I started writing my very first novel, I have felt these tickles tapping on my shoulder. Pssst… have you considered submitting some of your finished projects to different magazines and contests? You know you’ve always wanted to.

“Yes, what a great idea,” I told those pesky tickles. Despite the truth of the matter, I am going in. I am going to do it and not care one way or the other about the outcome. I derive great pleasure in putting my mind’s comings and goings out in written word, so I’ll submit even if just for myself to say I am good enough to try. If someday I’m a tremendous success… lol… shhhh… enough of that. So, I started submitting and competing. I have no reason not to, well, until I received my first…

So sorry, but you were not selected.

Wait… what?! Read it again, Charli… nope, I read it right the first time. Hey, they did mention they want me to keep submitting. This is hopeful, right? Except I asked the online knowers of all, and they let me know it was a standard generic and graceful rejection letter. My heart sank for a moment, genuinely stung by the no. Of course, they want me to keep trying because submitting is not free, lol. “Hush, bitter one,” I told myself. I laugh, sort of, because a part of me actually thought I could win this thing. I sulked a moment and even thought, why am I doing this at all?

You know what, though? Guess what! It was the catalyst that brought me here. Seriously, it inspired me to make my very own destination, to take my attic full of promise and creativity and let it shine. Even if I never get published, even if no one comes knocking on my door or wants to come sit with me, I’ve decided I don’t have to be selected to keep trying and showing up for myself, and to be so proud of that.

Thanks for reading my very first blog post. I’d love to read your “not yet” story or rejection moment, because after all, this is something we share. We are all more than enough, just for showing up.