Tag: life

Three Monitors, a Messy World, and Returning to Gratitude

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized11 Comments

Not actually me, but it captures the spirit of the day rather well.

Something small, but super exciting to me, happened today.

I got a third monitor for work.

Now my big standing desk, the one I rarely stand at, is completely filled. Three monitors now sit across the desk, filling the space in a way that feels oddly satisfying and comfy cozy at the same time. Everything organized, icons cleaned up, switched from giant icons to medium like a responsible adult. It probably sounds silly, but it made my desk feel kind of… official.

Like I have my own little command center.

The monitors are just for work. My writing still happens on my laptop, and sometimes on my phone. For years it was only my phone. So much writing tucked into those tiny keys over the years.

But today, sitting there with my new setup, I felt a kind of pride about my job. The pay isn’t amazing, but I work from home, have great hours, and I genuinely like what I do. These blessings are not lost on me today.

Life outside the desk is a bit of a mixed bag right now.

Mama’s health isn’t great. My brother just lost his granddaughter. My sister had a house fire.

Also, several of my close friends are going through really hard seasons of their own.

So yes, the world is messy. Beyond my little corner of it, wars rage and political divisions seem to expand more every day, much like inflation.

But somehow, in the middle of all that, I feel grateful.

My granddaughter living with me has changed things more than I expected. She has pulled me out of my shell a little. I’m reconnecting with friends more. I even went out of town last weekend with my friend Deanna. My brother Bill, who I admire so much, has been staying in closer touch too.

It feels like something is shifting in a good way.

Another change I didn’t see coming is this: the TV is mostly off now.

For years, a lot of my free time disappeared into television. Now, I read more. I write more. Sometimes a lot more. It’s funny how a season of life can change without you planning it.

And honestly, the biggest catalyst has been my Mama.

She has told me since I was in the third grade that I’m a writer. For years she has pleaded with me to take it seriously. So recently I thought, while she’s still here, maybe I should honor that and see what happens if I try. I have shared her influence on my life many times, in my writing and in conversations. It is a very meaningful truth about my story. It keeps showing up.

That’s when this whole writing journey really started to take shape. Writing has become the place where my inner life and my outer expression finally meet.

I bought a laptop, started a website, submitted a few pieces. And now, I’m working on a novel.

Attentive reader, you may have seen me share these milestones before, but I have a soft spot for them. They mark the beginning of something important to me, and I believe they deserve appreciation. I find myself returning to them on weary writing days when I need a little inner pep talk.

Along the way, while working through all of this writing and learning, I also started using AI as a sounding board. A strange thing to admit, but it has been surprisingly helpful when I want to think something through. And yes, I know it probably tells everyone they are rare and special. I also know it is basically my coded therapist mirroring my thoughts back to me. Still, it works, and sometimes that is enough to help a person get unstuck.

Maybe that says something about me.

I’ve always been a little bit of a researcher at heart anyway. At one time, I wanted to be a research biologist. Now, I guess I just turn everyday life into research projects instead. People, experiences, questions, patterns. I’m always looking for the takeaway.

Recently someone told me my positivity is “toxic.”

“Hey, if looking for the right in a pile of sludge is considered toxic, then maybe being a little muddy isn’t so bad.”

Maybe that’s just how I survive the messy parts.

And right now, messy or not, I appreciate this season.

Three monitors sitting across my desk. My laptop rests beside them, still holding a pile of half-finished stories. A house that somehow feels a little more alive than it did a year ago.

It was about that time I decided to take her words seriously and finally try. That decision has altered my days in ways I never expected.

Thank you, Mama, for believing I was a writer long before I did.

My Dream Home

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized2 Comments

On a hill overlooking city lights, with mountains resting beyond the flicker, sits my quaint cottage. A single tall pine tree keeps watch beside it. I like to think it stands guard, ever present, through wind, snow, and the softest summer breeze. Wildflowers grow naturally along the front path, adding soft color against the home. A wide porch stretches across the front, with a classic wooden swing, a pair of white rocking chairs that invite slow mornings and even slower sunsets, and a soft screen door that creaks gently when it opens. This is where you come and sit with me.

The house is white with deep, rich blue accents. It feels elegant but warm, the kind of place that is beautiful without trying to impress anyone.

When I open the front door, I step directly into my reading and writing room. There is little furniture.  Just a beautiful rug underfoot, an antique desk waiting for early morning thoughts, a small rock fountain trickling gently in the corner, and a quaint tea table for two. I imagine my gal pals sitting there, steam rising from our cups as we lean in close and talk about everything and nothing. A big, comfy chair anchors the room, where I curl up with a cozy mystery before the day fully wakes.

From there, the space opens naturally into the great room, bright and open. It holds the kitchen, the living area, a fireplace, and large windows that refuse to be ignored.  The kitchen is simple, with a farmer’s sink and wide counters where I can spread things out without feeling cramped. It is not fancy, but it suits me just fine. I would never choose a galley kitchen. I want space to move, to breathe.

The bedrooms are smaller and tucked quietly toward the back. One is an office, not just for ideas to scatter freely, but because I still have to work. Dream houses do not fund themselves, and I like the thought of earning the life I live inside these walls. One is a guest room, ready when someone I love needs rest. The master bedroom is slightly larger, with its own fireplace and a window seat where I can watch storms roll in. The closet is roomy but not excessive.

The master suite’s bathroom is divine. The shower holds a wide rain head, large enough to let the water pour, some days gentle and other days strong. A built-in bench lines one wall so I can sit beneath it, letting the steady fall of water take me away, but not from this perfect retreat. A classic clawfoot tub rests nearby. It carries the old-world charm of curved porcelain and polished feet, yet it is fitted with gentle massaging jets. When the water rises and the jets hum softly, bubbles gather around me like a warm blanket. Tucked in the corner, almost hidden from view, is a small sauna for the days I need deeper restoration. The bathroom tends to my inner diva, while the rest of the house keeps things simple and warm.

Speaking of warmth, let’s meander out to the backyard of my dream abode. As enchanting as my front view is, with its pretty curb appeal, the backyard may just be my favorite spot in all the land. Rather than tell you how wonderful it is, let me show you the full picture. I have a feeling it might become your favorite spot too.

The first thing you see when you step outside is a flower, hummingbird, and butterfly haven. Of course, we have to consider the mess, so it is armed with ant moats and drip trays. It can be inconvenient sometimes, but the show these divine critters bring is sublime.

I like to watch them while lying in my shaded hammock. It swings so gently as they entertain. Most evenings, I relax in my armchair with my favorite blanket.  I do not really need it, though, because the gas fire pit provides both warmth and a soft glow of ambiance.

The front yard allows me to look out onto the world, but my backyard is just for me, fully private and peaceful, my little sanctuary. It is plush, yet with minimal fuss. A lovely stone accent wall captivates my eyes every time. And let us not forget the small garden labyrinth, with solar lights lining the pathway, casting a soft glow at dusk. At the heart of it stands a young tree, planted small so it can grow alongside me in this cozy space.

A couple of discreet outdoor speakers play my favorite spa music, just enough to soften the air without overwhelming the natural sounds. Even the artificial turf does not take away from the scene. It simply keeps things tidy, so the beauty can remain the focus.

As I move through every detail of this dream home, I realize something unexpected. There is something deeply fun about letting the imagination stretch and wander. I am grateful for the chance to explore it piece by piece, because in that dreaming, it begins to feel like more than just a sketch in my mind.

Myth of the Missing Piece

On By Charli ReneeIn Submissions2 Comments

How lovely it is to sit down on the living room couch, cuddled and cozy next to the love of your life. Perhaps, watching a Christmas Hallmark movie, where the magic of romance flows from the screen to fill the room with enchantment.

Couples, newlyweds or lifelong veterans, partaking, even dancing, in the art of love. They experience ebbs and flows, but still, they carry on. I find this to be a unique force of determination, grit, and fortitude, sticking to one another through all seasons of life. What a testament, to endure such an adventure. I sure do admire it though.

It must come with many blessings: to help work through the hard times and, even in the dark days, to find comfort knowing your loyal partner remains. It is not perfect, but it is theirs, a resolute union of their own making.

Of course, not all relationships are healthy. Some are toxic to the core. I am not speaking of ugly moments that pass, but of situations that are not good for anyone involved. Those sorts should never last. What is that saying? It is better to be single than to be in a bad relationship. On this, we can all agree.

However, the choice to be single isn’t always because of trauma filled romances, or bitter, broken people opting to stay single to protect their wounded souls. Singledom does not always require a solution.

The idea that singleness is a problem to be solved didn’t start with us. It was handed down gently at first, then louder as time went on, through customs, stories, and subtle messages tucked inside the scripts of everyday life.

Since the dawn of time, survival and social status were deeply rooted in marriage, especially for women. To be partnered was to be protected, provided for, and publicly validated. To be alone was to struggle in every aspect of life. It simply was a risk.

Even as times changed, the undercurrent remained. We saw it in fairy tales, where the story wasn’t complete until a prince arrived. In family gatherings, where the single seat at the table was met with pity, or the inevitable question: “Are you dating anyone?” In movies, where the triumphant moment wasn’t the career milestone or self-discovery, but the kiss in the rain.

Over time, the myth took shape: that if you were single, something must be missing: a piece of your identity, a chapter of your life, a person to prove you were worth choosing.

However, myths only hold power when we mistake them for truth. And this one, though dressed in sentiment and tradition, is more fiction than fact, at least for those to whom it is an intentional preference.

Let me be clear: whatever you choose is what is best for you.

I frequently feel the need to advocate for being single as a fulfilling and valid lifestyle choice.

I come across words like these so often:

To choose to be single is selfish. It is such a lonely and depressing existence, with no purpose, no meaning. We only have one life, so why choose to do it alone? If you’re left with no option, then sure, it is understandable. But don’t worry, it’s never too late to find another. Now dust off your solitary britches and get back out there. No need to put up the proverbial sign “out of business” just yet. You will be okay. Just work on being a better you, so when the right one comes along, you will be good and ready.

I recall recently, while hanging out with my oldest, asking her what her biggest fear was. I was trying to guess quickly: being buried alive, drowning, eaten by a wild bear or a shark? Nope. “Oh, that’s easy, Mama,” she said. “By far and above, my biggest fear is being alone.” Huh? I laughed, thinking, Read the room, woman! She laughed too, immediately trying to console me.

“I like to be alone, Mama,” she said, “but to always be alone seems so sad and isolating.” I said, “Yeah, I understand, baby.”

I explained that I believe much of her fear comes from not having experienced it long enough to discover its pleasures. There are so many, just as there are in sharing your life with another. Both take work to thrive. Both have seasons. Neither is exempt from the struggles that come with living. Like all things, in all ways, faithful practice builds resilience and grace.

Since then, I have thought a lot about her response and the misconceptions that seem mainstream. This, for example, is what I hear often: “I would have left my marriage years ago, but I stay because I don’t want to end up alone.” Heaven forbid one would have to endure such a tragic demise.

Well, I am here to dispel the wretched myth that there is something missing.

One doesn’t find missing pieces by pairing up. Wholeness isn’t stitched into someone else’s arms. It builds patiently, day by day, inside your own heart.

There are pleasures woven like secret smiles within a life lived singularly. The slow mornings where the only sound is the lilting birdsong. The thrill of tackling long neglected chores, starting a new project, or exploring without interruptions. One can choose the sweetest option of all, to do nothing at all. Many options come without negotiation or permission. The freedom to build a rhythm entirely on your own is not a burden but a blissful paradise at times. There is an intimacy with oneself that deepens, a sovereignty of spirit that blooms, and a quiet power that rises, when you realize you are not waiting for life to begin.

Single does not equal solitary confinement. There are always people in need of the tender care only you can offer, and many ways to give and receive. There is always laughter and adventures waiting to be shared, but you must be willing to make these connections happen. You can design a social life, find hobbies, all while maintaining your meaningful choice to be single.

Life is a puzzle; we search to find all the pieces that fit together just right. Each creation is unique and can bring purpose, fulfillment, and joy, along with trials and heartaches. There is always more work to do. However, I have found a fascinating discovery in this journey on my own, being alone doesn’t have to mean I have no place to belong. Sweet, rewarding acceptance was found in my own company. There is no piece missing. I am dining perfectly at my table for one, partaking in all the delicious gifts that the banquet of life offers.

And so, if you find yourself walking a path with no hand to hold, do not rush to call it lacking. Instead, listen to the birdsong meant for your ears alone. Relish in the sacredness of choosing your own pace, your own becoming. It is not a lesser existence. You can stand alone, vibrantly and beautifully whole. Life, in all its seasons, offers various kinds of abundance. Some are partnered; others walk alone. You are not missing anything. You have arrived just as you are.

You are your home.

Still Held

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized3 Comments

A short work of fiction inspired by my father. He’s been on my mind lately.

I had to call my brother.

“Brady, I don’t know where to start. I need to figure out how to tell you.”

In his usual fashion, he said, “You want me to call you back in two weeks so you can figure it out?”

He is such a brat, but in the most fun way.

“What is it, Sis?”

“Brady, I received a letter from Dad saying he is still alive.”

“What? No. This has to be a sick joke.”

“I know, Bro. But what if…”

“Are you home now?”

“Yes,” I said.

“I’ll be right over.”

I had not moved since I hung up the phone. I sat there in shock, reading the letter over and over, as if the repetition would make the words different. 

He was the only one who ever used that name, and there it was.

Hello Sweet Ruckus, 

Guess what? I am still here.

You must keep this to yourself. I mean that. No one is to know, except Brady, and he must understand the same.

This isn’t secrecy for drama. It’s necessity. My safety depends on it.

I’ll explain everything when I see you. Until then, trust me and stay quiet.

The knock felt more like a pounding, sharp enough to pull me back into the present.

“Hold on, Brady. I’m coming.”

I rushed toward the door, the letter still clenched in my hand, its edges bent now.

When I opened it, they were there.

Brady.

And my dad.

For a breathless second, I questioned it. There was something in his expression, maybe a pause, but I pushed it aside. 

I rushed into him, burying my face against his chest, tears spilling freely, soaking the floor beneath us. His arms closed around me, strong and familiar, the kind of embrace that once made the world feel manageable.

Just as his arms tightened and I let myself sink into him,

I woke up.

It felt so real. I still feel held by him.

Stories, Bit by Bit: Lilly, Part Two Continued.

On By Charli ReneeIn Stories, Bit by Bit3 Comments

with gratitude to Lori Sillman for this next twist in Lilly’s journey

Lilly wasn’t sure how all that spunk materialized, but she was thankful it had. So there, Mr. Greg Thomas! I guess thinking she’d just walk in and be on the next flight to Borneo proved her ability to dream was still there. She chuckled at herself.

Having lined up, in order, next steps was just what she needed to stay motivated and determined. Registering for the right classes was something she was familiar with doing, even if it was for a completely different degree. But writing a piece all about herself would prove much more challenging. She loved the idea of answering all the who, what, where, when, and why for someone else’s life. For her own, not so much.

Lilly curled up in her plushy armchair, enveloped herself in her softest blanket, and opened her laptop. How hard could it be? A full half hour and seventy-three starts later, she decided it could be very hard.

The buzzing interrupted her attempt number seventy-four. “Hello?”

“Hi Lilly! I have such news!”

Having known Roni for nearly twenty years, Lilly could tell Roni was excited with barely one word spoken. “I’m hoping you’re about to share it,” she said, her smile heard as much as her words.

“I’m getting married, and you just have to be my Maid of Honor!”

Stunned was all Lilly could feel. “What? When? To whom? How long have you been dating? Do I know him? Why didn’t you tell me you were serious about someone, anyone?”

Laughter bubbled from Roni’s throat. “Slow down! I don’t know what to answer first.”

“All of them. Immediately!”

“When can we get together? I’ll fly you here. We can discuss plans, and you can meet him.”

The girls hadn’t seen each other in over three years. College in different states will do that. Lilly wanted to go, but now? Seriously? Why did it sometimes seem nothing could be easy?

To be continued.

Tag, you’re it. If you’d like to join me in the fun, feel free to comment below. If not, I’ll keep the story moving, bit by bit.

Sending warmth and kindness.

Stories, Bit by Bit: Lilly, Part Two

On By Charli ReneeIn Stories, Bit by Bit4 Comments

Stories, Bit by Bit: Lilly, Part Two

Lilly started walking fast toward the journalism club. She was so excited. Everything was coming together, but as she got closer, she felt herself falling out of place. Her confidence began to shatter as she recalled her dad’s conversation and all the inner dialogue she had been playing.

Is this even possible? I am probably fooling myself. I do tend to dream, but remember, dreaming is a great motivator. Come on, girl, you’ve got this.

Just as she opened the door, her aplomb stood up. Even if it was a “fake it until you make it” moment, she’d take it. The door felt stuck, but maybe it was because she was still shaking. She let go, took a deep breath, and firmly grabbed it with extra strength, and it opened nicely. The room was cool and very quiet.

She didn’t get very far before a tall man greeted her. Though friendly, he was intimidating, and her phony bologna confidence act began to shatter. Since she stood frozen, the man approached, and it was clear he saw how uncomfortable she was.

“Welcome. My name is Greg Thomas. Who do I have the pleasure of meeting today, and how can I help you?”

He was so nice.

Lilly smiled and said, “My name is Lillian Frank, but my friends just call me Lilly. I am here to find out more about this club. I think that I would very much like to become a member. I was hoping I could speak to someone and learn about what you offer, and if I might be well suited to join.”

He smiled and responded quickly. “Looks like you found me. I happen to be the club president. I was just heading out for the day when you entered.”

“Oh no, Mr. Thomas. I can come back another time if that is better.”

“Not necessary. I am more than happy to help, and please, call me Greg. Come into my office.”

She was getting more excited. It seemed he was eager to consider her already, or was she just hoping?

He said that he needed to know more about her first.

“So, tell me, Lilly, how long have you been pursuing a degree in journalism? We usually only consider those who have already completed their prerequisites and are well on their way to graduating.”

She paused and took a deep breath. “Sir, I mean Greg, I’m a senior undergraduate. My degree has been in veterinary science.”

Greg looked confused. He started explaining that she may have wandered into the wrong place. This was a journalism club for aspiring journalists.

She scowled at him. Displaced anger was real. The same defensiveness she had felt with her dad rose up again.

“Yes, sir, I know. But you see, I have been thinking about this for a long time. I want to become a journalist instead.”

“Listen, sir,” she continued, no longer wanting to call him Greg. “Is there a rule at this college that says a person can’t change paths? I don’t think so.”

She took a breath.

“I know I’m a good writer. I’m certain many credits will transfer. I’ve written, and I’ve even been published in the local paper. I’m serious about this, and I’m capable.”

She hesitated, then added, her tone tempered, “I would welcome the opportunity to prove myself, if you’ll let me.”

She realized she may have been disrespectful. His small grin, followed by a brief laugh, made her wonder if he was mocking her. Then he leaned in.

“Lilly, I apologize if I came across as dismissive,” he said. “I hear your determination, and you’ll need that spunk, and plenty of it, as a journalist.”

“I would consider you on two conditions. First, you need to get all your logistics in order. We only accept members who are actively working toward a journalism degree.”

“Second, I want you to write a piece explaining how you came to the decision to become a journalist, what you hope for your future, and why we should consider you.”

She had asked for a chance, and this was it.

To be continued.

Tag, you’re it. If you’d like to join me in the fun, feel free to comment below. If not, I’ll keep the story moving, bit by bit.

Sending warmth and kindness.

Write About My First Meaningful Computer

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized2 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Write about your first computer.
View all responses

Please indulge me in adjusting the direction of yet another wonderful daily prompt. It has been so long that I am not sure I can even remember my first computer.

I want to talk about my most meaningful computer, not my first computer. This one is easy for me to explore why it is most meaningful and why it deserves recognition.

It was close to two years ago, give or take several months. I had decided to take many years of writing for fun to the next level.

So, what did I need first? Where did I start?

It became clear that if I wanted to take my journey seriously, I needed more pragmatic space to revise, edit, polish, and research. Typing into my phone had served its purpose, but now I felt the need to expand my writing horizons. I needed a laptop. It felt like a practical investment, but also a meaningful one. Even in the choosing, I could feel my confidence rising as I decided to invest in myself and in a passion I value.

My laptop is so much more than just a tool. It has been the catalyst for more than I could have imagined. It has allowed me the freedom to indulge my desire to write, and all the endeavors associated with it, not just my first book, but also submissions and the building of a personal space I can call my writing home.

It is so sweet to even think about it, finding myself among a community of other writers, many much more experienced than me, watching and learning. What an invaluable resource this has been, and hopefully, in some small way, I can contribute things that are meaningful to others. Giving and receiving feels like a soothing connection. In short, my circuitry friend, my laptop, has given me a way to connect not only with fellow writers, but also with myself and the writer I long to be.  

This laptop has given me a tangible way to honor the voices of others and my own.

I do wonder, though, after sharing all this… Have I neglected a very important part? I think it is time to give my most valuable laptop a name.

She deserves one.

Stories, Bit by Bit: Lilly, Part One Continued.

On By Charli ReneeIn Stories, Bit by BitLeave a comment

I am so excited to share this.

A heartfelt thank you to Lori Sillman for adding the next bit. Her contribution has helped keep this story alive. I love how she captured Lilly’s mix of doubt, hope and determination. She added depth without changing her voice.

To all readers, comment below if you’d like to join in or even just offer ideas or direction of where you would like it to go. If not, that is perfectly fine. It is just for fun. I will keep weaving, bit by bit, but just like when we sit together, this story is even better when we create it, side by side.

Here’s the next bit, written by Lori…

Lilly couldn’t help but feel some of the disappointment and self-doubt that his words prodded, but she also knew she would only be unfulfilled by giving up the dream. She tossed about the idea of doing both. She could continue the last bit of her degree in veterinary school while taking classes in journalism. Would that honor her dad, and her mom’s memory, or just waste more money, slowing down her new career?

“Dad, I want to make you proud. I am sorry to let you down. I have to pursue this. I’ll work on the side and help pay my way.”

Paul could never let his baby feel like a disappointment. “Alright, Lilly. We’ll work together, and just so you know, your mom and I have always been proud of you. We may have shook our heads at your changing pursuits, but we love your ability to dream big!”

Lilly felt relieved, excited, and under more pressure than ever. She immediately looked at what classes she would need to enroll in. Thankfully, the guidance counselor knew Lilly. She not only helped Lilly wade through the credits and classes that worked for her new degree path, she let Lilly in on a little secret.

“There is a journalism club on campus that works with the profs and classes. They get to travel all over and receive credit for on-the-job training. There are multiple destinations. I can have the club president get in touch with you, if you’re interested.”

Oh, Lilly was more than interested!

To be continued

Sending warmth and kindness

Stories, Bit by Bit: Lilly, Part One

On By Charli ReneeIn Stories, Bit by Bit7 Comments

“Are you serious? I cannot believe it. Really, all this for me?”

“Yes, Lilly. This is yours, and you deserve every bit of it.”

Her father had been plotting and saving for years. Paul stood there in quiet awe, looking at his baby girl.

Lilly had completed her third year of college. It had taken her five years, though. Regardless, she was well on her way to becoming the veterinarian she had always wanted to be. Then, unexpectedly, she changed direction. She wanted to be a journalist.

Her favorite part of college had always been anything to do with writing. More and more, her thoughts drifted there. She could see herself traveling with her laptop, pen in hand, going on adventures and writing about them. The research aspect fit perfectly with her insatiable curiosity. It felt like a dream job.

She met his eyes.

“Why wouldn’t I pursue something that calls to me?” she said. “Surely, Dad, you wouldn’t want to hold me back from my desire to reach for the stars.”

Paul discouraged her at first.

“Lilly, absolutely not. I can’t afford to keep funding trial-and-error pursuits. And you know your mother would have wanted you to finish what you start.”

He paused, then continued, unable to stop himself.

“I’m certain you can still hear her voice as she dragged you to every practice, every event. ‘Lilly, you are going, and that’s it!’ You tried everything, art, dancing, debate. Remember the night you ran into our room convinced you were meant to be an influencer?”

He shook his head, a tired smile flickering.

“I didn’t believe it would last. They rarely did.”

Lilly felt the familiar defensive heat rise.

“Dad, you’re exaggerating, and you know it. Those weren’t failures. I was a kid learning who I am. You make it sound like a bad thing.”

Paul softened.

“Honey, I understand. But you’re a senior now, pursuing the one thing you’ve always wanted, your own veterinary clinic. I’ve watched you stay the course. Even through your mother’s cancer. Even after she died.”

His voice wavered.

“You never stopped showing up for her. You never stopped showing up for yourself. And now, just as you’re about to start your fourth year, you suddenly want to change everything.”

To be continued.

Tag you are it. If not, that’s ok too. Still, more to come.

Sending warmth and kindness.

What Would I do if I Won the Lottery?

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized2 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What would you do if you won the lottery?
View all responses

Who has asked or been asked this question? Show of hands? I’m waiting. That’s right, everyone. Since we all like what money provides, it makes sense to enjoy talking about the what ifs.

It’s fun for us to play with imaginary money, huh?

Let’s dream big, shall we? It can’t be a million dollars; we need a bazillion in today’s economy to do all that we want to do. No, I am not greedy, just dreaming big.

Before getting into any of it, I’d hope I would start with gratitude. I’d be thanking God, especially since I didn’t even buy a ticket. And yet, here I am swimming in the lottery pool.

Anyway,

Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Debt, gone, including that of my friends and family. And speaking of friends and family, pack your bags, we are going on an all-inclusive vacation. Maybe a couple, maybe more. How fun! There will be one stipulation. We all must have a good time and bring our best for one another to avoid drama. Wouldn’t it be formidable if buying drama-free environments were possible?

Okay, let’s move on from the obvious to some more good stuff.

I would hire the best publishers, writers extraordinaire, editors, and anything else I need to help me write well.

I still have so much to learn. What an adventure it would be.

Do I want to be on the best sellers list? Heck yeah, especially since we are dreaming.

In reality land, I write for the craft of it all, but we are in a different land now.

My fantasy land would also include volunteering, orphanages, food banks, soup kitchens, working with wild animals. All would be so rewarding.

For me, giving back has always mattered, and I’ve found it’s one of the best things we can do for ourselves, let alone others.

Talk about a worthwhile legacy, right? If I didn’t have to clock in, just imagine the opportunities.

Like this… I would love to go around and watch people at Walmart or other random stores. I’d find a way to pick random people to spoil, but without them knowing the source. What was that show long ago? Oh yeah, “The Millionaire”.  Someone would get a large check, but they could not tell anyone where they got it. Yes, that would be so fun. Who wouldn’t want to do that?

I would ensure I too was on the receiving end of generosity. I’m picturing it now.  My silver with black accents Jeep Gladiator or maybe a Rubicon sitting in front of my quaint cabin with large windows and all the modern amenities. Flowers everywhere, a body of water nearby, four seasons, but the mild kind.

Wait, look, my future lab wants to go for a walk.

Finally, there is one more thing I might consider if I had oodles to spare. This one is a little harder to admit because it shows my vanity. Oh well, I’ll just say it. A little nip and tuck would be tempting. Maybe I’d opt out because I don’t want to chase youth, but dang it, gravity has gone a little too wild.

Write About a Few of Your Favorite Family Traditions

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Write about a few of your favorite family traditions.
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The only ones that come to mind from my own upbringing are putting up the Christmas tree on Thanksgiving night and everyone getting Christmas PJs on Christmas Eve. I’ll be honest, I never really thought traditions were that important, that is, until I began seeing how my daughter’s mother-in-law operates.

At first, I thought it was excessive to have so many traditions, this from someone who thinks matching Christmas pajamas are perfectly reasonable. She has been calling our grandkids every year on the first day of school to sing them a traditional song, School Days, one her mom sang to her growing up. Also, if it were not for her having Blayk read The Night Before Christmas every year on Christmas Eve, it probably would not have happened. In fact, since he will be 18 this year, he has handed the torch to his sister.

Even though the grand wee ones are not religious or tied to a faith, every year they participate in Lent with her. How cool is that? Very.

Also, we, she and I, have also made new traditions. I go over on Christmas Eve and stay the night at my son-in-law and daughter’s home. After the kids open their presents on Christmas morning, we all climb into our vehicles and head over to Gama’s and G Daddy’s home to open more gifts. But before the opening begins, there is a Who Made the Best Omelet contest, because apparently Christmas morning is not complete without a little friendly competition. Of course, Gama has already prepared the winning prize, complete with a trophy every year. It is quite fun.

I remember feeling a way at times because she does so much with them. Boy, was I silly, but now I know. She has taught me not only the value of traditions, but also how they naturally bring our family together, creating moments that feel like “our thing” rather than anyone’s alone. She has shown me how to show up a bit more for my loves in this way, and I am so grateful. I believe she has helped instill traditions in our grand wee ones’ lives so deeply that they will continue them for many years to come.

How Sweet It Is

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized2 Comments
Daily writing prompt
List five things you do for fun.
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How Sweet It Is

1. Sharing time with a dear friend
It’s Friday night, and I’m meeting a dear friend for a drink and appetizers. We share and laugh like we’re being paid. No pretense, no judgment, just a safe place to call home, away from home. Friendship is such a sacred place to go. How sweet it is.

2. Coming home to a cozy house There is nothing quite as fun as a comfy moment. A house picked up, laundry tended to, and everything in its place has a way of settling the soul into a place of peaceful bliss. How sweet it is.

3. Reading before the world wakes up Before the crack of dawn, I start reading. It is fun, not just in a let’s go on an adventure today way, but in the I always feel accomplished when I read way. Even a cozy mystery counts. I think it’s because reading feels like a valuable pastime, so my actions and values are lining up. What do they call that, cognitive consonance? Whatever the name, it brings comfort. Us readers are so blessed with the endless entertainment stories bring. How sweet it is.

4. Slow mornings with birds and wonder
I do not pour a cup of ambition. I pour, instead, a cup of awe. I have no obligations, and there is nowhere to go today except outside to listen to the birds. I like to believe they enjoy my company as much as I do theirs. I speak of them often because they are so much more than just birds. The language barrier works for us. I do not try to figure out what they are thinking. No need. I simply let these little creatures delight the senses. How sweet it is.

5. Walking with my ball of sunshine, Dolly
It is that time. Dolly, are you ready? Her joy is pure and abundant, round and around, her exuberance cannot be contained. Sometimes she spins so much she wobbles just a bit to gather her balance. We do not explore far. We have a usual path, one that works perfectly for us. She knows exactly where that first fire hydrant is, and when it comes into view, her tail speeds up and her whimpers of excitement cannot be contained. How sweet it is.

Well, that is five. However, I believe in going the extra mile, so one more. 

How can I not bring forward the fun writing brings? It is a fun and exciting adventure of my own making. Though sometimes it feels more like a need, even a chore, writing almost always finds its way back to fun. Just open the laptop and see where it takes me. How sweet it is.

Now, it is time to go find the next fun thing to do. There are so many. 

Sending warmth and kindness.

Daily Prompt: Write about your first name: Its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized5 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.
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I have often been told, “Charli fits you.” I am not sure exactly what people mean by that, but I hope it is a good thing. When I think about how I inhabit the now common name Charli, a few words come to mind: free-spirited, fun-loving, and young at heart. I am those things, just not all the time. I tend to think too deeply and analytically to feel truly free all the time, but I am learning how to let analysis serve me, not run the show.

As for etymology, Google and other sources are far better historians than I am, so I will happily leave the official origins of the name to the curious reader and their search bar. What matters most to me is not where the name came from, but how it keeps nudging me in the present, reminding me to loosen my grip, soften my seriousness, and occasionally tell my inner analyst to take a coffee break while Charli goes out and plays.

Daily Prompt: What Makes a Good Leader

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized2 Comments

Let’s start with what it is not. It is not intimidation or fear induced through micromanagement and unrealistic expectations. A good worker knows that while guidance and instruction may be needed for improvement, they still yearn to be trusted with the job at hand.

What a good leader does not also include a rigid, one-size-fits-all approaches. People are not interchangeable parts. They bring different temperaments, needs, strengths, and limits into the same shared space.

This is where acclimation comes to mind first. It is a skill set I deeply admire because it reflects an understanding of the varied dynamics of different people. Authentic acclimation does not involve putting on facades to adjust to others. It is not deception. It is tapping into our own dynamic personality and adjusting accordingly.

Some people respond best to reassurance, while others do not need it at all. Some benefit from a quieter approach that allows them to express themselves fully. Others simply need space to vent and then move forward. Some are more reserved and do not want to talk much. They are there to do their job and often operate best with minimal oversight.

A good leader recognizes these differences without losing themselves in the process. Acclimation does not mean abandoning core values. It means leading with awareness while remaining grounded in who you are.

I observe my boss in team meetings and am often in awe of her ability to acclimate while still remaining her true self. I can say that confidently because time has revealed her consistency. Her core values do not shift. Her integrity is steady. That authenticity is visible.

At times, she does not always get it right, particularly in how she interprets me. Yet even that has been instructive. Through her leadership, I have learned more about myself, how I respond, what I need, and where I still have room to grow.

In that way, good leadership does more than guide performance. It invites reflection, growth, and understanding on both sides.

She knows I get in my head and that I can be a bit much with my need to be perfect. She listens carefully, offers space to vent, and at times shares her own vulnerability. That openness makes it easier for me to speak honestly about frustrations, fears, and mistakes.

Sometimes I wish I had not. A written evaluation often follows. At first, I felt betrayed, as though my trust had been mishandled. I wanted those conversations to stay contained. But she is my supervisor, and she is doing her job.

Over time, I have come to understand that my transparency does not remove accountability. It requires it. Her responsibility to acknowledge issues professionally does not disappear because I am open with her. In fact, it keeps both of us honest. It reminds me that vulnerability is not a shield, and leadership is not a loophole.

She inspires me to be real, and she expects me to remain accountable, even when I know the consequences. 

She has shown me what it is to be a good leader. I am grateful! 

Enjoying My Own Company, Again

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized2 Comments

Honestly, I haven’t been writing much at all, not for the last several or more months.  Along with that, my reading has been significantly less. Even taking care of myself, exercise, nutrition, just has not been a priority. Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been horrible. I have enjoyed aspects of the stillness, even believe some essential.

Until…

I have noticed my thought patterns have been more theatrical and chaotic, emotions less regulated, fretting more, resurfacing insecurities, and restlessness rising. Also, I have not been outside much.  I think for most of us, nature always brings us home.  I found myself checking out more on the surface but overthinking like crazy on the inside.  So, I decided to take a few personal days.  I am so thankful for this choice, especially with some added stress at work these last couple of weeks.

On the first day off, I kept my recent patterns alive and well. I was obsessed about work and system issues.  I need my job so losing it isn’t an option. Anyway, I thought to myself, maybe just give up the remaining personal days if I am going to just obsess about work, just log in and get back at it.   However, I reminded myself I can do hard things, but I don’t want to today, lol.  I knew what needs to happen so stay the course of my mission to return to enjoying my own company again, so…

 Today, my second day off,  I woke up at my normal time, between 4 and 5. I immediately started scrolling and shortly after, I turned on the TV. Thankfully, I heard my inner voice louder.

Wait woman, didn’t you already tell yourself what you want and need to do?  It is time to get back up on that proverbial horse and ride baby ride, only nice and easy, likened to a trot in a surrounded by field of flowers.

 I reached over, grabbing a great book, For the life of me, I’ll never figure out why I put off reading when every single time I start, I am inspired to not only read more, but to write more.  Anyway, it was so cathartically peaceful.  Door open, soft breeze. It was so early that the beautiful sounds of nature had yet to rise for the day. Once they did start their mesmerizing symphony, I sat outside and enjoyed the app my Ornithologist brother hooked me up with. You start a recording and as the birds start entertaining their listeners, the app tells you what birds they are and all about each one.   I felt both calm and intrigued.  Curiosity is a gift that I never want to give back, and today I realized I was choosing to relinquish its bounty.   I believe when I allow myself to remain in an apathetic state to help me digest life’s challenges, I lose so much. I don’t want to be so weary that I lose the spark sweet curiosity brings. While I don’t want to take life and myself so seriously, I don’t want indifference either. Balance is, as ALWAYS, key.

Back to the morning, 

Just as I was finishing the book, my Grand Nae Nae opened her door across the hall. She informed me that she is going for a walk, and I asked if I could join, me and Dolly. The journey was short and sweet.    When we returned, we did some chores and now I am at my laptop writing.

Are all those stressors still here? Yes!!! Are all the circumstances that have been causing fret left the inner dwellings? Heck to the NO!!!

However, I am back up in the saddle for today and ready to keep on keeping on in a manner conducive to enjoying the moments more and having the coping skills to do what needs to get done in a more efficient, calm and steady manner.

 We always have work to do, growth is a necessary blessing, though not always fun.  I like the authentic, easy-going, free-spirited person I am, but those attributes require intentional habits and routines to be authentic and sustainable.  

 I will put in the intention and follow through, not for perfection, but for balance’s sake!! Will this last? Will I stay on track? Maybe not, probably not, there will always be seasons to a degree. For today, however, I welcome the me again that enjoys my own company.

 Thank you, reader, for sitting with me awhile. 

Her

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized3 Comments

She is a winner. The orneriest, wittiest, wisest, most entertaining, fun, curious, loyal, loved, easy laughing, unique, inspiring, honest, and beautiful lady of integrity there ever was. I’m not exaggerating!

Yes, she and Dad introduced me to God, and for that I am eternally grateful. She has shown up for all of her loves, over and over again. She instilled in me the notion that thoughts are things, and each and every day, I reflect on the gift she gave me.

It was afternoon, just after school, as I recall. We were cleaning the counter, and I don’t remember what she was responding to. I can only imagine I was expressing a less than enthusiastic attitude about having to do chores, lol.

Anyway, I still hear her voice.

Don’t get me wrong, she isn’t perfect. But dang, she comes close. I say this because ever since I can remember, she’s put up with my shenanigans, and when we’ve faced friction (usually my doing), she never stopped proving her unconditional love.

There is no one more deserving of my respect and admiration.

She isn’t tall, but if you mess with one of her loves, well, let’s all be glad she doesn’t carry.

Despite her being a bit of a private introvert, when it comes to family, furry and otherwise, they are her world entire.

And one more thing, don’t just take my word for it. She is so cherished, so adored, and so deeply loved by her devoted husband, Papa, her sissy, her four other children and their spouses, all her many grands, thirty plus in all, including all her grands and great grands. Then there are the nieces, nephews, not to mention her many familial friends, all of which cherish the treasure she is. Her magical self continues to touch so many lives.

Mama, when it comes to you, finding what’s right always comes easily, the easiest in fact.

Pollyanna with a Side of Real Talk

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized2 Comments

Yes, I choose to be a Pollyanna type of person. I have been scammed, cheated, hit, raped (TMI), bullied, lied to, and abandoned, mostly by myself. I have made plenty of poor and selfish choices too. I feel some know less trauma, but most the same or more. We’re all part of the same messy tribe called “people,” trying to make sense of it as we go.

Yet, I prefer to believe in the goodness of people and businesses. Not because it is easier to live in denial than be bothered with discernment or discomfort; but because I believe in good people and businesses that run on integrity. I have experienced much more of the good stuff.

My employers, for example, have displayed strong and healthy transparency and honest business practices. Plus, most of my dealings, besides the company I work for, have been honorable. Finding hard workers who do right by you and aim to earn your business is such a privilege to witness.

Also, my family is not perfect, but I have been blessed to know what it is to be on the receiving end of noble parents and siblings. And I have lifelong friends who have withstood the test of time and friction. Good ladies!

As a customer service rep, I know engaging with challenging attitudes is very stressful, but still they are the minority by a long shot. Most people are either civil, and some give the kind of warmth I like giving and receiving.

Where am I going with all this? Hold on while I try to remember, lol, jk.

I just have noticed lately that now I understand why the older population gets crotchety. People seem to just ignore when we have issues. I don’t want to be negative, but this is a bummer. Maybe I am also exemplifying a boomer approach that is causing… idk.

Hey…

Maybe, this wasn’t a rant. Maybe, it was just a small prayer disguised as one. For goodness to keep showing up. For grace to meet frustration halfway. For all of us to stay kind, even when it’s hard. And for hope to remind us why believing in the good is still worth it. Lastly, may we find the balance of discernment to avoid unnecessary bumps in the road.

My Heart

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized7 Comments

We all know time passes. We learn that fast, sometimes too fast. And we all figure out eventually that we are not here forever. Death is part of the deal. It is not a surprise, and yet it always is.

It boggles my entire being that I have an eighteen-year-old granddaughter. Not just any granddaughter, but my new roomie. Hilarious, full of fire and fun, she brings energy into every corner of the room. Nothing about her is quiet. She is bold and brilliant and beautifully complex, just like the women who came before her. She has my heart.

And then there is Blayk, my soon-to-be seventeen-year-old grandson. My only boy. He is becoming one of the best men I have ever known. There is something steady in him, a deep well of compassion and strength that humbles me. He is rising into himself with grace, and I am honored to see it. He has my heart.

My middle granddaughter, my shining Mady Skye Pie, is just two weeks away from her golden birthday. Thirteen. The edge of something magical. She is a blend of sparkle and steel. She is thoughtful and creative. She is already showing signs of becoming a force in the world, just like the women who came before her. She has my heart.

And then there is my baby-girl Rachel, now seven. Uniquely cool, endlessly lovable, and deeply missed. I carry her giggles in my memory like a favorite song I can’t stop humming. She has my heart.

This life, these children, these moments, these years… they move through me like a wind I never saw coming, but I would not live without. I would not trade a single second of watching them grow. I love them fully. I remember every version of who they have been and who they are becoming.

They each have my heart, and always will

On the Porch: A Little Curiosity & Coffee

On By Charli ReneeIn Uncategorized6 Comments

Good morning, my friends. I am so delighted to have you on my porch this morning. Sit down, let me get you a yummy cup of coffee, or do you prefer tea? Oh, here is a blanket to put over your legs. Isn’t that cozy? What a beautiful day, huh? I am smiling so big inside now that you are here; it is an even sweeter place.

I love that we get to visit awhile. It’s been such a joy sharing my dreams and messy bits with you, and now I’d love to know more about you too.

Can you relate to finding people fascinating? We’re creatures, not so different from the ones we watch on nature shows: living, eating, sleeping, surviving. Now, don’t get offended. I’m not saying we’re out here in the wild picking tiny critters off each other’s fur! In our own odd way, though, we’re just animals too, born, nourished, messy, and eventually moving on.

Yes, we share so many of the same aspects because we’re the same species. And yet, our differences are remarkable. If I told you I sometimes see people as a living research project, would you be offended? No one wants to feel like an experiment. I think maybe “research project” isn’t quite the right way to say it. Maybe it’s better to say we’re all little mysteries to one another, and that’s a good thing. It’s one of the best parts of being human, discovering how beautifully different or similar we are and what surprises hide behind ordinary faces.

Instead of asking if you like to be studied, let’s wander into this question instead. We are dynamic creatures who have varying aspects of ourselves that come out to play or explore. My desire to know and understand is pretty constant, but with some I am allowed to go in. I put my reporter hat on and delve in. Oh, how I love those who indulge my insatiable curiosity. How about you? Should I go get my hat; or do you have one you want to wear with me? I want you to feel so comfortable with me. I am genuinely interested, my friend.

Sometimes, it is easier to open up when you are with someone who is also willing to be vulnerable with you, huh? It is key. The best kinds of encounters are the ones that feel balanced, real, raw, and bounce freely between listening and sharing, and maybe laughing so hard you spill your coffee down your shirt. That happens on my porch more than I’d like to admit. Spilling is a superpower, right? Maybe it’s not the mess but the permission to be a little messy together that makes connection real. Each connection, whether lifelong or brief, taps into different parts of who we are and invites out new or blossoming stories.

For example, let me tell you about my circle of friends to show you what I mean. With one, I am quite the babbling soul, and laughter always shows up. With another, we go straight to deeper conversations, discussing safely our faiths, our thoughts, even politics. She is a willing participant, always eager to go in. Then there is one gal pal who has taught me much from our interactions. She is a strong and enduring soul and friend, so feisty and lovable too. Each friend and connection brings and teaches so much. Oh wait, there is one more to share. She is a special friend that I am a bit intimidated by and still feel so close to. It is such an awkward dynamic. I find her and us a mystery that I hope to discover. However, I will have to let my guard down with her, and she with me if that is to happen. It isn’t an intentional wall; we are just both private and open too. I suppose I just don’t know her well enough yet.

Do you have people like that too? Close but also a little intimidating, familiar yet still a puzzle?

Oh, my goodness, like our time on this porch, the day is warming up nicely, dear sparkling reader. I don’t want to keep you from today’s journey.

What say you? Should we do this again? It has been very fun hanging out with you. I could sit with you for hours. Thank you for your time and for your willingness to ignite connection. It feels so good; shall we plan for our next visit… you, me, a porch, a cup of coffee, and some enticing curiosity lingering in the air? I hope you always feel welcome here. Let’s keep this porch inviting for next time; we’re just getting started.

Spilling Love,

Charli Renee